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Old 11-08-2007, 03:36 PM
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Fairygirl Fairygirl is offline
Meadowlark
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 945
Smile Why I am nervous about my first visit with Carmella

All the generosity and openess on the forum lately (especially due to my upcoming visit with Carmi and Don), got me thinking about a few personal things I want to share.

This is such a wonderful place for people to come and be themselves, share openly without judgement, and gather support from everyone else here. Like Wayne said, we've all been gifted something as a result of being here! So awesome!Yet, even in such an open, loving environment, I still have a challenge being ME. I don't really share anything personal, even though there are many times when I would like to - in fear of judgement, being criticized, things along those lines.

This wonderful trip to meet Carmi and Don for the first time has triggered some of those fears. I've just dyed my hair an aweful colour that doesnt suit me and I think it looks bad...I've gained some "winter weight", lost the tan I had in the summer, have blemishes on my face...blah blah blah...and I have to meet Carmi this way?!?! I am scared! Yeah I know right? Its silly - Carmella is one of the most kind, loving, and nonjudgemental people I could meet. Who cares what I look like?! And yet I still do. All ego, and I know it, but these feelings are still present with me. I also know in my heart that this trip is completely meant to be and everything is in divine order.

With that said, i felt compelled to share this truth of mine, since I feel in some ways like you are all coming on the journey with me to Carmi and Don's. We are going to report back all the activities and I am so excited about that!!!! yipppeee!!!!

In love and light

Heathy
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