Why I am nervous about my first visit with Carmella
All the generosity and openess on the forum lately (especially due to my upcoming visit with Carmi and Don), got me thinking about a few personal things I want to share.
This is such a wonderful place for people to come and be themselves, share openly without judgement, and gather support from everyone else here. Like Wayne said, we've all been gifted something as a result of being here! So awesome!Yet, even in such an open, loving environment, I still have a challenge being ME. I don't really share anything personal, even though there are many times when I would like to - in fear of judgement, being criticized, things along those lines.
This wonderful trip to meet Carmi and Don for the first time has triggered some of those fears. I've just dyed my hair an aweful colour that doesnt suit me and I think it looks bad...I've gained some "winter weight", lost the tan I had in the summer, have blemishes on my face...blah blah blah...and I have to meet Carmi this way?!?! I am scared! Yeah I know right? Its silly - Carmella is one of the most kind, loving, and nonjudgemental people I could meet. Who cares what I look like?! And yet I still do. All ego, and I know it, but these feelings are still present with me. I also know in my heart that this trip is completely meant to be and everything is in divine order.
With that said, i felt compelled to share this truth of mine, since I feel in some ways like you are all coming on the journey with me to Carmi and Don's. We are going to report back all the activities and I am so excited about that!!!! yipppeee!!!!
Fairygirl: Remember; there is more to 'sween as' than blemishes; and color of your hair? well 'reddish' ??? they shan't mind! love share love and go girl go ! we are going with you ! Joz
As we've talked before, I know that you know that these thoughts around your self-image are crappola. I've also told you that I got mine too... lol
"Oh no! All I've got is shabby clothes!", "I smell!" , "I'm gonna look like an amateur next to her!"
See what I mean... Total crap!
You're gonna be among some seriously laid back, non-judgmental and easy going folks! But I know that there's no way you can reason with that sort of irrational thinking. Nothing you can do but to let the tape run and your mind do its thing... Observe the chatter, acknowledging that it's not 'real', feeling the discomfort that it triggers the best you can.
Heathy, my connection with you has always been an energetic one, first and foremost. Even before you posted an avatar or we got to write back and forth a lot, the bond was there. Besides, me think this will be more like a 're-union' than an actual first meeting.
We've received so many confirmations that this is supported by The Mystery, the next step on our journey. Nothing to do but relax into it and let it all unfold.
I love you girlie! (to the extent that I can - being not enlightened and all! )
Fairygirl, I can so relate to being conscious of personal "flaws" but I just want to remind you that true friendship is based, not on what you look like, but on who you are. That is certainly why You and Carmella have become friends. She'd love you even if you put on a lot of "winter weight", had acne and went bald. It's You she's excited to spend time with.
Not a beautiful image.
Go in joy, focus on the purpose and on Carmella, take your mind off yourself and enjoy every minute of your trip.
Blessings to you both!
__________________
Coonlie
"Let your food be your medicine and your medicine, your food." Hippocrates
Hey Fairygirl!! Who would not be!! I would too!! Its perfectly natural to feel so and since it is natural and most, if not all, would feel like that so relax... I would freak out BIG time!!! You are doing cool so far.... I would not even state my 'fears'....
But of course we all know that your fears are not met for we all know how Don and Carmella are like as people.... think hippies
You will have a blast that you will even forget you had acne!!
By the way, true beauty shines from inside which is everlasting... true friendship goes beyond look....
lucky you she did not call you Carmie 'hippie' cRAWker ! LOL
If you are going to Beautiful BC
you've got to wear some Maple leaves in your hair
if you are going to Beautiful BC
gentle people with Maple leave in their hair.....
Carmi: when you pick her up at the airport put 'canada' leaves in her hair? as FirstGarden said ! Joz
Well, maybe some of you weren't around during the hippie movement. But this was in reference to the song,
"If you're goin' to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.."
-Scott McKenzie
So, be sure to wear some Canadian leaves in your hair. It's a term of endearment.
I understand completely where you are coming from. Our ego likes to play these little tricks on us, so that we will want to back out of things, but than it is a positive thing also what ego is doing, plowing through the leaves (fall time) and making it to the other end.
You are such a warm and kind beautiful soul. So Talented! Your light always shines through. I have a tough time being me, sometimes I hold my breath to long and have to remind myself to just breath and be me! No one is like you Heathy, let that wonderful side shine through.
Carmi and Don will not care about these other things, I know they LOVE you just the way you are! It has to feel alot better getting your fears out in the open and move on now!
You have a wonderful trip and look forward to all (Heathy, Carmi, Don's) posts!
I understand completely where you are coming from. Our ego likes to play these little tricks on us, so that we will want to back out of things, but than it is a positive thing also what ego is doing, plowing through the leaves (fall time) and making it to the other end.
You are such a warm and kind beautiful soul. So Talented! Your light always shines through. I have a tough time being me, sometimes I hold my breath to long and have to remind myself to just breath and be me! No one is like you Heathy, let that wonderful side shine through.
Carmi and Don will not care about these other things, I know they LOVE you just the way you are! It has to feel alot better getting your fears out in the open and move on now!
You have a wonderful trip and look forward to all (Heathy, Carmi, Don's) posts!
Be safe and Be FREE!
Love and Blessings,
Pansy
WOW, that just made ME fell FREE............BEAUTIFUL WISE WORDS PANSY. Run with that Fairygirl.
The essence/presence of you is by far greater than the color of your hair!!!! Quite frankly, even if you had green hair, you are such an AMAZING,BEAUTIFUL AND KINDRED PERSON, it would not change my perception of you. Once a fan,always a fan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Better yet, tell Don and Carmella to dye their hair too
Why I am nervous about my first visit with Carmella
, "I'm gonna look like an amateur next to her!"
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