[quote=Aleesha;17132] wow... sorry folks i'm with raw love here. all i asked for was a place that lurkers wouldn't see. i wasn't asking for a place to discuss something illegal, immoral and 'jail' worthy that's for sure. [quote]
If you are referring to my question about defining the space, I think you are way off of my intention. I never mentioned anything illegal, immoral or 'jail' worthy. My intention is to define the space. Reason being, we already have a private area for personal growth. We need to know what this foum would be used for. It would not be for "hanging out" like in the lounge, we have established that. (it would take away from the current lounge) Some have mentioned personal growth, but as stated, we have a personal growth section and a "private" one, too.
Defining a space is not dramatic, and I am actually hurt and offended to be accused of it.
Aloha Rawbies... I've been away quite a bit lately due to work schedules and so much not fun stuff that I had to attend to!! but I have poked my head in here and there... sometimes I just get to read a few posts - before my phone rings at work --- sometimes I might get to do a quick post... sometimes not...
but I recently got internet at home, so I am able to get online at night now! (So I'm very happy about that!)...
so this is an interesting topic. Personally - like so many others - I don't use my 'real name' here on line... would be kinda cool if my name was 'starfire' but alas... it is not! so - I have no problem sharing things. A few posts back someone mentioned that - they share things that they wouldn't necessarily want others in their family - or perhaps friends to find or know about...
do you really think that's possible? if we are all using alias - what's to prevent a friend or family member from signing on as Mr. Whatever and... well-- earning their way into the 'private room' and reading it anyway.
Personally, if a private area was created, and if I were invited in - I of course would attend a time or two... but do I personally feel like I need it?
No - not really. Because -- I already feel REALLY SAFE HERE. but I do understand - everyone has their personal issues and concerns - so if one is set up... that's cool - cuz I know that no matter what - it will be run with respect for everyone involved... it will be a safe haven - and help many people. I just don't see how you will be any safer though than we already are.
blessings... this forum is amazing...
... RAWK ON RAWBIES....
If you don't take care of your body ... where will you live?
Can you, as a moderator, call a time-out and let everyone cool down a bit by suspending this thread? I just feel that this subject is starting to sound negative. Negativity is the last thing we want in this community.
If people want to continue discussing it, they can do via PM at the moment. Basically, what everyone needs to do is take a deep breath and then reviiew this thread in it's entirety to see if a resolution could be worked out privately.
That is a great suggestion, however, that is not in-line with the "freedom" part of the forum! Don and Carmella ask that we self moderate, and only in rare (very rare) circumstances will a thread every be suspended or closed.
Right now I think we have be sure that what we are posting is constructive, and moving us forward. After all , we are all here to "do the work" as Don likes to say!
With that, a little reminder on what Don and Carmella think of privacy: They feel that nothing in secret helps anyone. They are the opposite of privacy! LOL! (these are my words, paraphrasing posts and PM's and emails on the subject).
I hope we all can post words we are proud of, and words that bring us closer as a community, not drive us apart. I think we could all look again at the "code of conduct" of RFC. I don't know the link off hand.... hang on!
Sorry for calling you a moderator. It should be caretaker.
In any rate, what you are saying makes a lot of sense. We all are adults and should be mindful of what we are saying in our posts. It is just that I feel the pain when you got hurt. This is not what the community is all about. That is where I came up with an immediate thought of suspending the thread, but it, like you said, won't be in-line with the mission of this forum.
I will get off the soapbox and zip my lips, but thanks for listening!
STB -- actually, Carmella talked about this other area, called the "deep end", and asked for people to PM her if they were interested. I was the only one who was interested. So, I have discussed something in that section with them, as my mentors, if you will. We don't bring it up much, cause, well, there hasn't been a need to, I guess!
RVM I was not in any way referring to anything you requested within this thread. I was feeling like people were responding like I wanted to have a private space to discuss immoral and unjust things. But if you noticed, above your post Peaches already discussed it and pm'd me as well.
I'm not offended and was never offended... everyone has a right to their own opinion. I was trying to point out in a calm, well written manner (which I obviously did not achieve - but in my head it reads calm... sorry folks) that I was simply asking for a place with a little tiny bit of privacy. Like STB pointed out... it's not 100% guaranteed privacy... just a little bit more private is all.
RVM... may I have access to the already created private area? (learn the secret )That's totally fine. I was under the impression when Carmi responded to my pm that the already designated section was specifically for the people within it... and she and Don suggested that we start a new one. I said that would be great. I don't really care one way or the other, if there's another one I'm welcome in... I'd love to be added to it.
Sorry if my posts offended anyone. (((hugs))) to all!!!
I'm so glad! I guess it is my insecurities! You didn't offend me, if you weren't referring to me! Oh boy -- online (typing, email, chat, pm) is so hard to tell what someone really means! Thank you so much for clairfying!
I really appreciate it!
I am not sure what /who the "deep end" is for really! I know we have discussed Don and Carmella's relationship, and I asked them other questions... but i am not sure what the "rules" or "standards" are.... i am kinda confused right now! hehheee -- that happens alot!
You will have to PM Carmella for the access! (the secret! LOL too cute!)
We wanted to clarify that we may have made a little mistake here by setting up an area we called 'The Deep End'.
The circumstances which engendered its creation was that RVM expressed an interest in exploring in some depth Don and I's relationship. We felt that, in order to do this, it might mean going into areas which we thought some people would not resonate with. We considered exploring the subject via PMs with RVM, but then decided that it would be technically more effective to create a private section that could potentially profit others should anyone indicate a similar interest in the future.
The possible mistake is that, in general, we think privacy/secrecy is not an effective approach in relationship. In most cases, the issue of privacy is about protecting the false self-image. That's not why we created the 'private' area and we wouldn't support it if others want to do that here.
When Aleesha approached me with the idea of a private forum, it seemed at the time that creating such a section might be ok if it meant that it would allow some people to feel more at ease and share more openly about themselves. However, from the way this thread is developing, it seems that this would open the door to having any number of private sections. In other words, creating fragmentation when, as someone rightly pointed out, this place is about creating community.
Aleesha, it seems that I might not have been clear enough in my PM. I meant that RVM and a close friend of ours (whom we used to live with) were the only ones who knew about 'The Deep End', not that we wanted to exclude anybody else.
In any case, in the light of this thread, we are considering making 'The Deep End' public. We intend to do this as soon as we clear it with RVM.
Oh Aleesha! Don't feel bad! You had an honest question/request and it was openly and honestly discussed. I don't see a need for apologies here!
I think we all learned, shared and perhaps grew a little, but no sorry's needed We are all part of this whole