For FirstGarden Rawbie and Path

[wyjoz]

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN


The day finally arrived.
Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.


He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.

However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,

it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I must

tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering

an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to

pass it before you can get into Heaven."


Forrest responds, "It sure is

good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance

exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.


Life was a big enough test

as it was."


St. Peter continued, "Yes, I

know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.



First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions

over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and

says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,

tell me your answers"


Forrest replied, "Well, the

first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?

Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."


The Saint's eyes opened wide and

he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do

have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit

for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.


! "How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about

that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."


Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?

Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"


Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's

got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "


"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter.

"I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,

though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give

you credit for that ! one, too. L et us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name"?


"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated

and frustrated St Peter.


"Ok, I can understand how you

came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the

world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"


"Shucks, that was the easiest

one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song,

"ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,

and said: "Run Forrest, run."


Do we have; the ability to understand a clean joke,

To get some humour out of life,



VERY CLEVER! I Love this: Joz

[Peaches4Ever]

Hahahahaha! Good one Joz! I love Forrest Gump.

[FirstGarden]

I've heard this one before, but thanks for sharing it. The 2nd of each month part made me literally laugh out loud. I forgot about that part.

[FirstGarden]

The Mob comes to the Pearly Gates and is greeted by St. Peter. They say, "We wanna talk to the Big Boss Man." Peter says, "But you can't! He wouldn't want to see you!" But they insisted, "Go on, go on.. just ask Him. How could it hurt? Just ask Him if we can talk to Him." So, reluctantly Peter goes and asks Him. To his surprise, He says, "Let them come to Me." And so Peter runs back and is greeted by someone shouting, "They're gone! They're gone!!!!" Peter said, "Who? The Mob?"

"No! The Pearly Gates!!!!!"

[wyjoz]

I apreciate this; because when I was learning """English"""" so many things were confusing; there are several meanings to ceratin words; and to too and two all mean 2 HUH? and k nife it's a nife? so why are you writing the k for and not using it? goat = goates goos = is gooses where in the heck ? in Canada? they got geese???? hmmm !


To Humor ! confuscious MJDB Joz

[wyjoz]

Ha Ha ! I read this: so Peter runs back and is greeted by someone shouting, "They're gone! They're gone!!!!" Peter said, "Who? The Mob?"

"No! The Pearly Gates!!!!!"
__________________
and I said Ha???????????????///Now me gots it ! hahaha ! funny !


the 'mob' stoled the pearly gates ! Hahaha ! Joz

[FirstGarden]

A man came up to the Pearly Gates and was met by St. Peter. Peter said to him, "Welcome, I see in my book that you've led an upstanding life, honest, generous, loving, always faithful to your wife. Congratulations, you will travel through heaven in a Cadillac. The next day, Peter saw him draped over the hood of his Cadillac, sobbing. "What's up?" asked Peter, "You lived the good life and have the rewards." "Yes," said the first man, "But I just saw my wife go by on a ten speed."

[wyjoz]

Originally Posted by FirstGarden

,

"But I just saw my wife go by on a ten speed."

THAT INDEED WOULD BE SAD IF IT WAS TRUE !!!! and good thing there won't be 'caddilacks' in heaven ! I'll be Dodo Bird flying! Joz

[PATH301]

LMAO....he wasn't specific was he....LOL

[FirstGarden]

Originally Posted by PATH301

LMAO....he wasn't specific was he....LOL

Well, we drive Toyotas. (Toys of Yoda). We do believe in buying American, but not with blind loyalty. We do not believe in rewarding Detroit with open-ended patronage while their manufacturing philosophy is to utilize low hardware integrity to keep the consumers coming back more often, both for entire auto purchases, or for frequent aftermarket parts . We believe in the longterm patronage of vehicles built with a different philosophy -- that of building vehicles to last.

[Danny_banany]

Lmbo!!!!:d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d