what is current
what is central right now for me is re-gaining a sense of focus. a little tid-bit i learned from don years ago, on having a one-pointed focus, is a glimmer of light in my field of grey these days. i have been trying to take on too much, in terms of my own personal development i mean. i keep my outward life fairly simple, yet see my dysfunction manifesting in many ways despite my attempts. i suppose it is the territory of the mind to scatter; and in the dissemenation of this energy as thought, it is no wonder i continue to cycle around and around the same patterns and addictions. well. here i am out in the world, and at least i am living in a beautiful place where eagles are more bountiful than traffic. this small town on the northern tip of the queen charlotte islands has been a type of refuge for me for the past few years since my journey with don (5 or 6...yes, time does fly) There is a more of a sense of freedom here than i felt in the city, and i am grateful for long empty beaches where my dog willo and i can walk. in many ways my mind matches this landscape; wild and unpredictable, windy, raw and harsh at times. it is a strange 'love-hate' thing that i have with this island, and for now it is home.
i recently put myself through school, and now have a yoga teacher certification as well as more bodywork (chinese medicine and massage) training. it is a funny thing really, that i now am in debt so that i can try and make more money (with the new skills) strange way that this world works, as of course everyone 'approves' and apprecieates this type of paperwork. and this is the world that i am in right now, so i am trying to play this game. Actually, i do really enjoy the bodywork practice, and gain some valuable meditation and focus time with it. "Using' another to help me focus and connect with the body-mind is useful for moments of relaxation and also experiencing the energy that truly supports us all. Mostly i live without a sense of that connection, so it is nice to be reminded in my body and my experience that it is so.
My job has me at a computer a few hours everyday, and so i am grateful for a productive and infomative space on line to be a part of. the view from my office is vibrant green, many different kinds of birds are my near neighbours this time of year. (and the window next to mine is ocean view...so many eagles out right now).
This is my current place, this is my journey at the moment.
until next time,