i am not free

[lindsay]

as a 'writer' one of my old and favorite things to do is take a quote and run with it....something speaks to me today from a quote i received via don in the past few months, maybe through amber's email?....."...to be free from the common problems of fear, pressure, influence, conflict, guilt...." Of course, it is here that i easily see that i am not free. i am not free of these things, and am in fact aware of some if not all of them on a regular basis. Sounds like fun, doesn't it. The process of observation i guess. So, what is speaking to me these days especially is pressure. i am aware of it in all places, manifesting in all of the things that i do. it is a deep and tight pain in the smooth muscles of my neck, my jaw, and some of us recognize shoulder or back pain as a common thread (of tension or pressure) Good thing i am a bodyworker- eh?...so, where does this pressure come from then? The obvious is the pressurized system in which i am a part: so, having to get up early each day to head out to work so that i can pay the bills on time. This pressure for me includes also the 'game face' or the job performance personna that although fairly slight, does exist. I am growing in awareness around this kind of pressure, and am beginning to observe it. The other kind of pressure, perhaps the same only now internalized, is the pressure i put on myself. This feels like the opposite to relaxation to me. I think part of the problem for me is that i have experienced something else, some other kind of life a little less pressurized and have that to compare to this. Actually i haven't worked this kind of a steady monday to friday job since around the time i first met don. that was a long time ago, hey don? that was back when don used to talk with me about the mind being like wild horses, and the goal was to get the horses to go in the same direction, and about how i really wasn't free like i had been taught my whole life. (why do i feel so far from that, i think this really is the long path or view). We used to talk about facing certain facts, about seeing the problems for what they are rather than pretend that they do not exist. So, for now, i am attempting to go to the source of my own pressurization, because it is very clear that a part of that or connected to that is my own self-condeming thoughts as well as personal ideals that i have. These expectations or perfections are a source of suffering to no end for me. So, what i wonder about then, is how to stay positive out here given all of these facts? I already know that coffee is not good for my physical body, and have been 'observing' and alternately indulging in this addiction for many years. what i do know is that it works for my brain chemistry, and am now, this week beginning to source out of my own brain activity a more positive, more physically neutral way to deal with things. No, don, not necessarily positive thinking. just some sense of hope or positivity to get myself up and into my daily routine - you know? i realize this may seem boder-line depressing, yet the facts themselves aren't always pretty i suppose. with a few of the keys that i have, and more functional tools in my belt than in the old days when depression took me down, i can at least recognize that things do change. with all of this exciting raw freeom community going on with d and c, i have some sense of light at the end of the tunnel, seems like spring hatching on the horizon. more on the tools and the keys later. thanks for listening.

[Don]

Lins and everyone;

a few words about this psychological movement we have called 'pressure' or 'feeling pressure' or 'pressurized' or 'pressurization'.

to us, this is a major difficulty we must find a way to deal effectively with if we are to have a chance to move forward 'strongly', might we say.

we have all of us experienced a world of 'no pressure', and that was when we were babies or very young children. it didn't last for any of us, because we were/are caught in pressurized human society. how this came to be is not clear, but what is clear is that human society has long been, and is now, highly 'pressurized', both internally and outwardly.

now, wherever there is force or 'push', inwardly or outside, mental pressure must be one result. factors such as conflict, 'work' (doing what you don't REALLY want to do) 'time' by the watch, ideals (should and shouldn't) comparison, all create pressure of some kind and strength.

since this generalized societal pressurized condition is so endemic, part of our 'training' or 'conditioning' has been focused on convincing us to accept it as 'part of life' or 'thats just the way it is', and through this process it has become/is 'normalized'. and so most of us (all of us) do come to accept it at the conscious level.

since we are sovereign beings, it is this acceptance which is the deadly factor. now don't jump to the conclusion that we are suggesting that we should 'resist' it. not at all. to refuse to accept something merely means that we do not condone or support (nor do we resist and condemn).

this 'neutral' or objective state is what is required for us to begin to 'observe' the 'facts' (in this case pressure) and explore causes, roots, and effects. so now you might say to yourself ; "it may be, but i'm not sure or convinced that pressure needs to be part of human/my life. lets take a good look at this phenomenon. animals live life without these kinds of 'societal induced' pressures, so maybe the same is 'possible' for us? lets explore it and find out.")

of course, we don't mean to imply it is that easy, that one merely mentally adopts a different posture. this kind of 'exploration' will require many difficult factors to come into play, such as a willingness to radically change ones life path (if necessary) with all that that might entail; a willingness to be rejected/alienated from friends/family who continue to support the 'traditional viewpoint', a willingness to feel discomfort/pain, and also to do whatever it takes to 'gain energy' in order to take on these difficult challenges of questioning the traditional way of conducting ones life.

the bottom line is the relentless fact that if we don't do these difficult things, we can only rationally expect, what to us is the unacceptable alternative, which is a 'normal' unfulfilled life of pain/pleasure, frustration, conflict, and yes, lots and lots of 'Pressures'!

we are all sovereign, so the 'choice is ours! for us there is no viable choice. we simply must take on the challenge

all blessings

don

[lindsay]

holy smokes, that is what i am talking about don....you read like a heavy but wordy manual , and i am remembering that the hard stuff to swallow is what is easily on don's tongue, and he is quick to shoot it to ya'...thanks don....but what readers do not know is how when you are with don and walking in the woods or say lying in the sun and he is off straight shooting, the twinkle in his eye or the laughter that plays across his knowingness is a helpful soften to the blow...fyi....don, here's the thing...what do you think we (amber, myself, others) have been doing out here all this time...we are trying to straddle worlds..trying to integrate the pieces of wisdom, somehow it didn't work for me to de-tatch from my family , my friends, to much emotional nostalgia i suppose...oh...the difficulties...heh,heh...can't there be a new recipe for us 'neo' types, what if we are meant to be out here for some reason, and that is where you gratefully come in don, as correspondances with you are what my life may be missing...am 'craving' a walk in the park with you sometime....anyway, love ya, linds

[Don]

see, there are lots of difficulties really 'communicating', (to commune, communing), and we're kind of like our mentors, Socrates and Krishnamurti, who never wrote much. not everyone has the writers 'gift, like you do lins, and then there is the fact that we type with 2 fingers, lol.

anyway we do our best and trust that those who are serious and meant to 'get it' will find a way to get past the limitations and connect with the truth of the message. maybe lins, you can use your 'gift' and our alignment to 'translate', for those who might have difficulty 'taking in the straight goods'
we have always been kind of 'shortest path is a straight line' kind of fella, right?

one doesn't 'choose' to leave family, friends, the world. one begins a journey and they either 'come with' or they don't. if you think it's a choice, then you are caught in attachment/sentimentality. what you may fail to realize is that you all live in different 'virtual realities' anyway, and also are mostly physically separated as well, and when you are together there is so much 'stuff' in the way that any 'real' contact is a rare bird indeed. so what is so important about that? certainly not nearly enough to sacrifice having your 'chance' (even if it was a choice, which it is only in the sense that we are sovereign and therefore get to set our intention and deploy our energy accordingly) AND if you want to be of any 'real' help and gain the power to go beyond the 'stuff' with them, then again where is the 'choice'?

what do we think you've been doing 'out there' bridging the 'gap'? well, everything is perfect and we all have to do what we have to do, but we will say that you can't serve two masters', you can't 'have your cake and eat it as well' (which the ego/false self-image is always attempting);
cause and effect is a natural law, it empowers true justice, and cannot be circumvented. this is the 'warriors' saving grace, because it means you will get your just deserts; do the work and nothing/no one can prevent you receiving your rewards (false image 'hates' this law because it means it can't truly 'get away' with it's tricks and cunning subterfuges);
fail to do 'the work' and nothing/no one can help you! so, what does it matter what we or anyone else 'thinks you've been doing', lol

the 'Choice' is yours

enough for today, eh. that should keep you going for a bit

all blessings

don

[lindsay]

hey don, i was just thinking that there have been so many times since i last saw you that i have thought i would love to put into writing (a book?) of all of the teachings, pieces, lessons that i discussed with you. Possible titles would sometimes come to me: "walking with don" "letters to don" this kind of thing. It really is great to be in discussion with you again. i have missed it dearly. It would seem that another thing that gets lost in translation is humour, like when i say "what do you think we've been doing?" this is in great humour, and now as i write i realize that you would say
"there is a grain of truth in every joke".i think i meant it truly as a question, and if i looked at it deeply i bet i would find out that i do care what you think about what i am up to. Perhaps in so far as i want to be recognized, yes, i can recognize that i am caught, in the false self-image and the ego, and all of the sentimentality that goes along with it. i can easily see that i want my cake and eat it too. True! what are you going to do with us? (more humour!)
interesting that you say i may be of 'help', meaning in just what i do provides a translation ...a link between worlds in a way. i remember amber and i were called the ones who bridge worlds, way back. my official job title here is administrative assistant, who knows? in a loose, kind of natural unfolding and supportive way (using my writing and keen for knowledge for good) i could be that with/for you guys. i will continue to try and 'focus' with the forum, in that where would be the best place for me to post, as i usually find out what i will write about once i sit down. chewing on don's bit about choices for now, and may come up with some writing around that. also, eagerly anticipating the second chapter of don's personal journey. it was fun to remember the personal history of his, and it is inspiring me to dig deeper into my own. it is good to be reminded of these things, these real matters of importance. it seems out here (eventhough as you say it is a virtual reality) seems some of us have some knowledge and need to be masters at weeding. this weeding is no charm (and like don once said, you cannot even trust yourself) , and the task is nubbling down to what is true, what is undiscernably and undeniably true. okay, until later, lins

[Don]

K. pointed out that "the mind refuses to face facts"

we have found that to be true and an interesting challenge. why is it that we have such difficulty performing such a natural act as observing things truly or as they actually are?

is it because we have been encouraged to live in a world of fanciful make believe where we can 'pretend' and make things be whatever we want them to be? much more interesting than the mundane reality. is it because we are competing with others who are also pretending (expertly) and we don't want to seem inferior? is it because we would be rejected and shunned if we didn't 'play the game'? is it because we would have to make drastic changes to the way we conduct our lives and who we share them with? is it because we would have to face unpleasant facts about who we are and what we are capable of, or not? is it because our lives are already Very difficult and Painful and we certainly don't want even 'More of the Same'? is it all these things and more?

the question arises, can any deep and meaningful growth or progress occur if we are determined to live in fantasy land? how can we learn and improve ourselves and our lives if we have lost touch with reality? for surely any REAL progression can only happen within the 'real world'! there is no 'Reality' in Illusion, is there. and in the Real World there are only Facts, whether known or unknown. Reality is where the 'action is' , dear friends, be it pleasant or not!

all blessings

don