New (Political) (Military) Enemy

[wyjoz]

Our military's powerful new enemy

Hippies looking to snake their way out of military service used to run to Canada. Today's kids don't have to run nearly as far -- the local Burger King will do.

God help us if we ever need these fast-food fatties to defend our nation -- because former military leaders say this generation is simply too fat to fight.

The bipartisan nonprofit group Mission: Readiness says 27 percent of young adults are medically ineligible for military service. But it gets worse. The group says 75 percent of 17-24 year olds can't serve due to physical problems like obesity, a criminal background or a failure to graduate from high school.

And there's still more bad news: The U.S. military loses 12,000 young recruits annually, before their first year is even up, because they can't maintain basic levels of fitness.

The group -- a who's who of retired military officials including two former chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff -- crunched the government's own numbers to come up with these alarming figures.

They're urging the feds to improve child health and nutrition, saying it's become a national security issue.

It's not just a problem anymore. It's a crisis -- and if you're not alarmed, I'm guessing you're rooting for an invasion. After all, it doesn't take too much imagination to see what would happen to us if we were attacked in the coming years.

Even if we somehow managed to survive, the only people left to run the country will be fat, poorly educated criminals.

Actually, that sounds a lot like today's Congress.

And if you really do suspect a problem in your child's brain, see a neurologist -- not a shrink, not ever.

Always rewarding,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.